FIRST, I WANTED TO CRY

FIRST, I WANTED TO CRY

WHEN I FINALLY WOKE UP, 3 days after the accident, I wanted to cry.  Not because I was alone in a cold, dark hospital room.  Not because my head was pounding. I ached...

... for the less fortunate.

Regardless of how I got there, I still had everything going for me.

Family,
friends,
children.

Visiting,
praying,
buoying me.

Incredible medical facilities,
wonderful, caring
staff.

I felt, and feel, overwhelmingly blessed and looked after.

How did I merit such goodness in my life?
How could I do better supporting those in need? 

Even though my brain had been scrambled, 
as difficult as it is to process information quickly...

... I never doubted I'd recover.

I'm so grateful to be alive...

... taking courage from the Grateful Dead's Touch Of Grey.

I will get by,
I will survive,
We will get by,
We will survive.

Because my brain is broken and there are little to no visual cues, it's hard to appreciate what thinking and doing and conversation feels like to me.

I look mostly fine.

This is the best I could come up with...

... asking me to engage is like asking me to run a 5k two to three weeks after breaking my leg.

Where I'm at now.

Starting last week, 8ish days post accident, my body started to hurt a lot.  Way, way worse than my head ever did.

When the pull up bar broke loose and cracked me in the forehead it must have knocked me out.  My buns and upper hamstrings and lower back were tremendously painful, indicating to me I had probably just had fallen straight backward on my tush then smacked my back of my head.

That body pain is mostly behind me.

My secret?

Taking a very hot shower 5-6-7 times a day, loosens everything up.

I'm off all meds during the day, and only taking Tylenol 2-3 times during the night.

This is great.

I had been really nervous to take the heavy stuff for a prolonged period of time.  I'd done that 30 years ago, and subsequently suffered migraines for almost 10 years.

Fortunately, the PEDALindustries crew is awesome.  Things are flowing as they should.  Just wonderful.

Your messages, and kindness, and support have been a great lesson to me...

... it's okay to cry tears of gratitude. 

 ---

159.4 lbs
10 hrs sleep
0 strength
40 minutes recovery 
60 minutes reading + Journaling